饥饿寒冷童年梦

Hungry and cold childhood

兴和至今也记得，这年冬天特别冷。

Xinghe still remembers that the winter was particularly cold in that year.

那一天，放了学的小兴和背着书兜，又冷又饿地从毛公乡小学出来，艰难地爬上了回家的那条山道。他已一天没吃东西了，肚皮早就饿得贴着脊梁骨了。爬上一个小山坡，他眼睛发黑腿脚沉重，一路不断扶着路边的小树，好不容易才爬到了山顶上。

On that day, little Xinghe, who carried his school bag after school, came out of Maogong Township Primary School with cold and hungry, and climbed the mountain road to his home with difficulty. He had not eaten for a day, and he was already starving to the backbone. Climbing a small hillside, his eyes saw black and legs felt to be heavy, and he had to constantly be supported by the roadside trees all the way, uneasily to climb to the top of the hill.

云帐铅灰，风寒露冷。

Cloud was grey like curtain, and wind was cold.

路湿苔滑，下了几级坡坎，他脚下一滑，险些摔倒。那条每天都要走过的林间小路，今天似乎变得特别漫长，好像没有了尽头。实在走不动了，他只好抱着书兜，在一个避风的凹地坐了下来，昏昏沉沉靠在一棵树干上歇息。天色昏暗，四处阴森森的，路上已经没有了行人，只有刺骨的寒风呜呜地吹着，像有人在他耳边凄凄哭泣——是的，最近生产队里老是死人，经常都有大人小孩这样哭泣。

The road was slippery with wet moss, and down several steps he slipped and nearly fell off. The path through the woods, which he had to walk through every day, seemed so long today and seemed to have no end. He could go no further, so he held the school bag, sat down in a sheltered nook, and rested drowsily on a tree trunk. It was dark and gloomy, and there were no people on the road, only the bitter wind whimpered as if someone were crying in his ear - there were always people died in the production team in these days, and there were always children and adults crying like that.

良久，他抬头朝山下望去，只见荒草摇曳，雾霭弥漫，稀落的树丛间，掩映着几块高低错落的薄田瘦土。隆冬时节，草黄山瘦，田野杂芜，一派萧条的景象。原本该是社员们收工后吃饭时间了，然而一座座低矮的草房中，没有人声狗吠，没有一户人家房顶在冒炊烟。

For a long time, he looked down at the hills, and saw the swaying grass, diffusing mist, and patches of thin farmland scattered among the sparse trees. In the midwinter season, the fields were overgrown with yellow weeds, showing a depressed scene. It was supposed to be the supper time after the commune members had finished their work, but in the low grass houses, there was no sound of dogs barking and no smoke from the roofs.

兴和那时虽然还小，但他也知道，解放没几年，这里也和全国一样，农村开始了合作化运动。先是办了初级社，然后是办高级社，到后来，又办起了人民公社，全体村民都将土地归公，所有牲口和农具也集中到了生产队。每天天不亮，上工的钟声一响，几百号人就大呼隆集体上工；到天色晚了，这才打钟收工回来。

Although Xinghe was young at that time, he also knew that within a few years after the liberation, there was the cooperation movement in the countryside, just like in the whole country. Firstly, there was the establishment of the junior commune, then the senior commune, and later the people's commune, in which all the villagers returned their lands to the commune and all the livestock and farm tools were gathered into the production team. Every day before dawn, as soon as the working bell ringing, hundreds of people loudly went to work together; when it was late, the bell knocked off and people came home.

1958年，也就是兴和5岁那年，人民公社成立后，为了早日实现共产主义，家家户户连菜刀铁锅也收归公有，由生产队办起了公共食堂。到了吃饭时间，大人小孩就欢天喜地拿个大碗到食堂去开饭。

In 1958, when Xinghe was five years old; after the People's Commune was established, in order to realize the communism as soon as possible, every household gave even kitchen knives and iron pots to the Commune, and the production team set up a public canteen. When it was time for dinner, the children and adults cheerfully took a big bowl to the canteen to have their meals.

刚开始，人民公社提出的口号是：“敞开肚皮吃，甩开膀子干”。食堂里大锅的菜，大甑子的饭，真是让社员们敞开肚皮吃，吃得大家眉开眼笑。然而好景不长，大概过了不到两个月，上头又掀起了“大办钢铁”运动，提出要“超英赶美，十五年超过英国”。这样，农村的壮汉大嫂们又被抽到公社“钢铁厂”大办钢铁去了，队里就留下些老弱病残，田里的庄稼无人种，地里的粮食无人收，连埋在坡上的红苕也无人挖出来。

In the beginning, the slogan of the People's Commune was: "Eat as much as you could and work as hard as you could". The dishes and rice in the canteen were indeed provided for every member to eat, and everybody smiled. However, it did not last long. Less than two months later, a "large-scale steel-making" movement was launched, proposing to "overtake Britain and the United States and surpass Britain in fifteen years". In this way, the strong rural adults were again transferred to the commune "steel works" to make the iron and steel, so the production team only left the old and weak, nobody planted the crops in the field, nobody harvested the grain in the field, even the sweet potato buried in the slope had nobody to dug out.

兴和还记得，就在这一年，无数的男女像疯了一样在对面山上打洞刨坑挖铁矿，砍了满山遍野的树木炼钢铁。一只大风箱，几根吹火筒，再用泥砖砌个“小高炉”，打着火把燃起火堆，烟熏火燎不分昼夜烧铁矿。到最来，这些人却一哄而散，只在山坡上丢下几坨咬不烂啃不动的狗屎铁，在荒草丛中日晒雨淋做着辛酸苦涩的梦。

Xinghe still remembers that in that year, countless men and women went crazy digging holes in the opposite mountain, hoping to find the iron ore, and cut down trees all over the mountain to make steel. With a big bellows, a few blowpipes, and a "little blast furnace" made of mud bricks, people lit the bonfire by torches, burning the iron ore day and night. Finally, these people were scattered in a rush, only left a few unedible dogshit iron on the hillside, to have the bitter dream in the grass in the sun and rain.

神圣的科学殿堂，实在是容不得半点虚伪的亵渎。

There is no room for hypocrisy and blasphemy in this sacred hall of science.

由于坐吃山空，加上连续三年的自然灾害，到第二年，在极度缺粮僧多粥少的境况下，要维持公共食堂的运转就日益艰难了。刚开始，公社领导还提出了“忙时吃干，闲时吃稀”、“粮食不够瓜菜代”的吃粮方针。到后来，这个方针也不灵了，无论闲时忙时，吃稀吃干都不可能，社员们连吃瓜菜活命也不可能了。饥饿到了极点的村民，不管是树皮草根，甚至“观音土”，只要能填肚皮的东西都往嘴里塞。

The lack of labor force for planting and three consecutive years of natural disasters had made it increasingly difficult to keep the public cantons running in the second year amid a desperate shortage of food. At the beginning, the commune leaders also put forward the policy of "eating solid food when busy, eating liquid food when idle" and "eating more melon and vegetable if staple food is not enough". Later, this policy also failed to work, no matter it’s busy or idle, eating enough was impossible, and then it was even impossible for the commune members to eat the melon and vegetables to keep alive. Extremely hungry villagers stuffed their mouths with anything that could fill their bellies, from the bark, roots to even white clay.

那几年，兴和他们生产队，以及附近所有的生产队，都不断在死人。据说有个队人死得太多，连埋葬死人时竟找不到几个有劳力的人来抬！他们共同的死因只有一个：饥饿。

In those years, Xinghe’s production team, and all the production teams nearby, were constantly dying. It was said that there was a team which had too many people died so that they could not find enough laborers to bury the dead! They had only one common cause of death: hunger.

周兴和同母异父的大哥叫王志发，由于长年饥饿营养奇缺，得了水肿病，全身浮肿，两条腿肿得流黄水，到后来连路也走不动了。那一天，到了公共食堂“开饭”时间，他一步一歇，拄着两根竹棒到食堂去“开饭”。可走到半路，实在走不动了，想停在一个土坡下歇口气。当人们发现他时，他眼睛死闭，再也叫不醒他，就这样被活活饿死了！这个王志发，死时还是个小伙子，年仅26岁。

Zhou Xinghe’s half brother, whose name was Wang Zhifa, had suffered from edema for the years of hunger and lack of nutrition, with whole swelling body, and yellow water flowing out from his legs, so that he could no longer walk. That day, when it was time for the public canteen to "serve meals", he walked to the canteen step by step, leaning on two bamboo sticks to have meals in the canteen. But when he had reached the halfway, he could not go any further, and wanted to stop at a slope to rest for a moment. When people found him, he closed his eyes and could not be waken up, so he was starved to death! This Wang Zhifa, when he died as a young man, was only 26 years old.

兴和这个年龄的小孩子，似乎稍微好一点，按当时生产队定下的规矩，他吃的是“甲等饭”。所谓“甲等饭”，就是一小碗不到20粒米、外加红苕藤红萝卜做成的“饭”。但，这对正长身体的孩子来说，无疑是杯水车薪，无非是让这些小孩子吊口气罢了。

The condition for the boy of Xinghe's age seemed a little better. According to the rules set by the production team at that time, he ate the "Grade A meal". Alleged "Grade A meal", it was a small bowl of meal with less than 20 grains, adding the sweet potato stem and carrot. However, this was undoubtedly insufficient, just as a drop in the ocean, for children who were growing up. It was just a relief for these children, to keep their lives.

就在几天前，同村一个只有三四岁、名叫“王毛弟”的崽娃，因为实在太饿了，就去石坝水沟边捡一种叫“山螺蛳”的蜗牛吃。不知这个王毛弟捡吃了多少“山螺蛳”，吃后是又吐又泻发高烧。那时农村人得了病是上不起医院的。大人见此情形也束手无策，除了在坡上扯把草药煎水给他喝，惟有的办法就是拖。拖了几天，这个崽娃就拖死了。大人哭了一场，用草席一裹，掩埋了事。

Just a few days ago, a three or four-year-old boy named "Wang Maodi" went to the ditch to pick up a king of snail called "mountain snail" and eat them up because he was too hungry. Nobody knew how many "mountain snail" Wang Maodi picked up and ate, but he vomited and had a high fever then. People in the countryside could not afford to go to hospital when they were ill. There was nothing his parents could do about it, except to pick some herbs on the slope and brewed them to him to drink. After a few days, the child was lingered out to death. The adult cried, wrapped his body with a straw mat, and buried.

饿、饿、饿，小兴和与村上所有的人一样，天天都在饥饿中挨着难熬的时光。

Hungry, hungry, hungry, little Xinghe and all the people in the village were against the difficult time every day in hunger.

寒风依然呜呜吹着，暮色渐渐浓了起来。兴和的目光从远处收了回来，落在半山腰上一堆新鲜的黄土上——难道，今天生产队又死了人么？想到这里，他不由得打了个寒颤。

The wind was still whistling and the dusk was dark. Xinghe’s vision took back from the distance, and fell on a heap of fresh loess on the hillside – did anyone in the production team die today? He shuddered at the thought.

不行，无论如何都要走回家去！

No, it should walk home, in any case!

天上飘起了雪雨。他扶着树干站了起来，感到很冷很冷，不由得又裹了裹破烂单薄的衣裳。此情此景，不但想起了躺在田角边饿死了的大哥，还突然想起前不久看到的一本连环画上的故事来。

Snow and rain began to fall in the sky. He stood up by clinging to the trunk, feeling very cold, and could not help wrapping himself in his ragged thin clothes. This scene, not only made him thinking of his eldest brother lied in the field corner and starved to death, but also suddenly made him thinking of the story on a comic book he saw not long ago.

他记得，这本连环画的名字叫住《卖火柴的小女孩》。书上的那个小女孩是个外国小孩子，她在大雪纷飞寒风刺骨的除夕之夜，光着脚穿着单薄的衣裳在街上卖火柴。因为一根火柴都没卖出去，她不敢回家，回家后怕被她的爸爸打。她的家，也像自己的家一样，挡不住风也挡不住雪。夜深了，天更冷了，小女孩躲在一个避风的墙角里，她快要冻僵时，划燃了一根火柴取暖；她快要冻死时，又划燃一根火柴。天亮后，人们发现这小女孩小手里拿着一束燃烧过的火柴，已经被活活冻死，被漫天的大雪掩埋了！

The comic book, he remembered, was called "The Little Match Girl". The little girl in the book was a foreign child. She sold matches in the street in her bare feet and thin clothes on a bitterly cold and snowy New Year's Eve. Not having sold any matches, she dared not go home for fear of being beaten by her father. Her home, like Xinghe’s, could not hold back the wind or the snow. Late at night, when it was colder, the little girl took refuge in a corner from the wind, and when she was almost frozen, she struck a match to keep herself warm. When she was about to freeze to death, she struck another match. At dawn, the little girl was found with a bundle of burnt matches in her hand. She had been frozen to death and buried in the heavy snow!

年幼的兴和看完这个故事后，他很难过很辛酸。有一阵，他总是在想：这是一个多么可爱又可怜的小女孩呀，为什么这个世界上那么多有钱的人，就没有一个善良的人来买几根小女孩的火柴呢？为什么穷人的孩子在大雪天就不能有双鞋子穿呢？他们家和自己的家一样，为什么就不能有一间能够遮风避雪的房子呢？……

After young Xinghe read the story, he was very sad and bitter. For a while he wondered: what a dear, poor little girl she was, and why there were so many rich people in the world, but no one was kind enough to buy some of her matches? Why can't the children of the poor have shoes to wear in the heavy snow? Why couldn't they have a house to shelter them from the wind and the snow, just like him? ...

是的，人的一生，刻在童年心底里的痕迹最深。或许，周兴和幼年时的这些遭遇，对他后来豪爽侠义，热衷于扶贫济困救灾救难，有着深刻的影响吧！

In the people's life, the traces engraved in the childhood are the deepest. Perhaps these experiences of Zhou Xinghe when he was young had a profound impact on his generosity and chivalry and enthusiasm for poverty alleviation and disaster relief.

天就要黑了，小兴和挪动沉重的双脚，沿着那条湿滑的小路，一步一步向山下走去——他不能像故事里的那个小女孩，在这无人知晓的地方饿死冻死。他要回家去，家里毕竟还有一堆柴草，会给他带来一丝温暖。

As it was getting dark, little Xinghe moved his heavy feet along the slippery path and walked down the mountain step by step - he could not starve to death or freeze to death in this unknown place like the little girl in the story. He wanted to go home, after all, there was still a pile of firewood in the house, which would bring him a little warmth.

后来兴和长大后，再看到这本书时，他知道了写《卖火柴的小女孩》这个故事的作家叫安徒生，是个丹麦人。

Years later, when Xinghe saw the book as an adult, he learned that the writer of the story "The Little Match Girl" was a Danish named Andersen.